For one month, I have been living without trying to be something more, without the constant pressure of knowing that I have to do something, anything to get out of my current situation.
You may have heard of me being recommended to apply for social security (kind of, anyway). Turns out you still have to apply for jobs, just like the previous thing I tried; the other amazingly convenient thing was the ten-or-so nontrivially acquired things I needed to present to them physically for my visit. The next month, I had a tax return coming, which I would have to notify them about and would likely cut into the grant money I’d get.
Beside my anger at the hilarious requirements and the note that I would have to maintain good contact with the agency that just told me to go to this one, the appointment with a social worker was also scheduled for two days after I received the letter with information about what was needed.
I decided ~3000 SEK was not close to worth the effort.
This month, I’ve been living essentially penniless. I’ve been able to get the occasional crown here and there through picking up coins my parents left lying around and can/bottle return money, but for the most part it’s been barren as hell. In retrospect, it’s not that horrible. Even going to the effort of making sandwiches is ok, if you’re hungry enough.
June fifth is the earliest I can get my tax return, apparently – though it might be later. This should last me through June – in July I have summer vacation and will be gone for a month. Not sure if I’ll need that much funds to enjoy that.
In August I return – and then I will have to face the pressure to stop being a NEET again. But these two months… freedom. I even have an okay feeling about how I’ll do in August, but we’ll see. There’s a decent probability of me getting mired in procrastination and indecision yet again, after all.
And now, I have to go make myself a sandwich. Blood sugar level is low, and I’m hungry.